The Botched Birth of a Maddening Thought.

I’ve been using this blog quite poorly, and haven’t been editing every little thing.  One of my favorite writers and researchers uses his blog as a pre-game for seeing if the idea will take, and what people would like or be interested in reading, which helps him in navigating the seas of book-writing.

Forgive that, I was using the blog as a guinea pig, thus you as readers as guinea pigs, and so I wasn’t editing it much.  Sometimes ideas need to get out, and sometimes forcing some sort of social pressure on Self assists that getting-out. Although few humans have made the choice to comment, there does seem to be some interest in what stories I have to share, based upon the frequencies of visits in the last year.

I am a fairly paranoid person, and I think too much.  This has been more of a handicap than an asset to my life purpose, but I now see that is just one perspective, and a rather negative one at that.  I have stories and injustices in my head constantly screaming at me to be acknowledged and shared.  Most of these stories are darker than what is easily conveyed in conversation, and so they have been sitting in my head for a decade or more eating away at my trust of others.  Well, others have helped in the waring down of my trust, but that is not the issue here.  I cannot go on with all the stress of my life and also hold and contain these stories inside my head.  It builds up too much anger, and it isn’t healthy to keep these tales hidden.  The tales are too large for a blog, and I would prefer not to have a ‘serial blog’ unless I have no other choice.  For now, a book will have to do.

This requires considerable encouragement from anyone who considers me or my voice of any value.  It is the first 20 readers who change the course of the writer’s path, which makes your interest very valuable and important to me.  I need encouragement, as for me beginnings have always been difficult.  I was the last kid to remove the training wheels, and I’ve never been blooming with the rest of my peers on the standard path, which makes me second guess myself all too often.  

I prefer to read nonfiction, and fiction hasn’t ever been my favorite thing to read, because most of it isn’t very good.  Lately, I’ve begun to realize that dark psychological murder mystery and conspiracy thrillers will more likely be where my mind will wander each day in weaving tales, and that is a good medium for me to explore in the writing of a novel.  I have an outline for a story centered in my tiny mountain town, Green Mountain Falls.  It will be perverse, it will involve justification, and it will touch base on deeper issues I observe in our culture, namely the abuse of the innocent by persons holding power.  This will be the core of the tale, as I do not wish to waste my life writing unimportant stories that will perhaps bring home bacon but not have any cultural criticism involved.  

I will begin to use this blog as a means of forming and shaping this idea, discussing the writing journey, its obstacles and joys, as well as getting smaller stories out which may not be suitable for a thriller.

That is all.  Thanks for reading, if you are doing so.  I will keep you posted on this idea, and give you snippets of the story so as perhaps you will reveal to me if there is interest in you or in others for such a tale.