Waking from the Hibernation

It's been a long time since I have been able to process the inner workings of mind in the written medium, as there have been a considerable amount of distractions in my life lately. This first post may be a bit rusty, but initiation is an excellent action to take, and one I tend to be slow in making.

I am guessing there are a lot of people who are feeling restless right now. I'm guessing I am not alone when I believe the thought that "My voice is unimportant, I am only one person, I have no effect on this world and it's workings." This thought feels completely true to me, programmed into the constructs of myself that I am nothing more than a square cog in a machine I have no control over. Yet my heart tells me that this thought is false, that I am important, that my choices are powerful and that I have an ability to make an impact in this time and space. Sometimes I listen to my heart, other times I listen to my thoughts and my belief that there is no hope, that there is no positive outcome for humanity and that our combined actions will negatively affect all other life in our future, perhaps to the point of a complete reset. This mindset falls into dwelling on the perception that people will never change, that the only thing that will stop us is our own destruction.

At its core, my heart refuses to believe there is no hope.

My heart also grieves the pain of knowing that I and my culminated life's actions have resulted in this reality. I am a part of the problems that I see, I am responsible for the pain of people I do not know, because of these actions. Actions in selfishness, actions in fear and the perception that there isn't enough to go around, that the fittest in our world survive only if they hold the most money/material possessions/resources. My actions have at times reflected this belief in a world without unity. A world of seprateness and distance, and a failure in community, kinship, and ethics. I am responsible for my choices in fear, and in love, and I am deeply grieved for the pain this has caused others. Other humans, other animals, other life.

Each morning when I struggle out of the snuggly warmth of my bed and the freedom of my dreaming, I have to reset my mind to face the day. Every day is a new day, full of new choices and new beginnings. I could make the worst choice of my life the day before and wake up and choose to face that prior choice and work to change it. How to change it seems so very difficult at times, but very often I find that if I make choices and initiate actions and intent with the conscious choice towards as selfless a love as I can hold to, results of my actions in fear are chased away. They diminish in strength as a shadow retreats from a candle's dancing flame. This is a Truth to me, and every new beginning I try to remember this Truth and implement it in my actions. On good days, my soul gains advantage over my fear-based ego. This is my daily battle, and the dawn of each new day brings the initial choice to live in love or to live in fear.

This is the first blog document initiated by a very technophobic Earth Bear, who has always preferred writing with quill and ink on unbleached paper. I leave this open to discussion and hope for comments and responses. May tomorrows dawn bring you bountiful choices in the actions of love.