An American Fairy Tale, Part 2

One day, Uglyman fell in love with a girlfriend. She was everything he liked in humankind, and everything he knew from the Disneytales to be a bonified, genuine princess. She was smart and talented, skinny and active, beautiful of appearance, at least to those few who saw past her unconfidence. He felt she would be his equal, and together they could harness the world and be two parts of a Whole. Princessgirl enjoyed her time with Uglyman. He made her laugh and feel special and beautiful, when most people had told her or treated her like she was not. He loved to do the things she loved to do, and together they made great conversation long into the evenings. Uglyman seemed to be almost perfect, but Princessgirl was holding out for that White-Knight-in-Shining-Armor she had been promised would be Handsome. She knew of many handsome men, but they did not hold her attention like Uglyman did, and most times they would either lead her on with empty promises, or shy away from her feeble attempts at romantic advancement.

The evening when Uglyman had gained the confidence to tell Princessgirl of his feelings. They were to meet that afternoon for a bike ride, and then share a bit of dinner. Uglyman had a beautiful afternoon planned, and he was going to tell her of his love after a meal at a gourmet restaurant that he had saved up for.

Princessgirl had never let Uglyman pay for her meal, because she had felt that he had feelings of more than friendship for her, but she did not know how to tell him of her feelings. Princessgirl was nervous to hang out with Uglyman, because she knew that one day he would tell her how he felt attracted to her, and she did not feel the same. Princessgirl loved Uglyman, but only as a dear friend. His appearance was not handsome, and so he did not fit her description of the White-Knight, thus she could not be his girlfriend, even though aside from looks he was so wonderful.

After the meal, Uglyman promptly paid the waitress quicker than princess girl could negate. Uglyman understood this deed as a knightly act of chivalry; Princessgirl was affronted. She did not know what to do with a man-of-action, and not many people had done that before. She knew immediately that the drive back home was going to be a hard one. Uglyman began to tell Princessgirl now he felt romantic love for her, but when he asked if she shared these feelings, Princessgirl just sat there without anything to say. She couldn't break Uglyman’s heart and tell him he was too hideous to date. She couldn't find the words to say that, because it was cruel. It wasn't his fault that he was born with those looks. There wasn't a whole lot he could do, he wasn't wealthy enough to have an operation to fix it, and Princessgirl couldn't be the one to break all this news to him, and to inform him that he was not the half of the Whole she was seeking. Her heart was not full of mean intent, but she was as confused about her feelings towards Uglyman as he was confident of his love for her.

This moment of silence between them lingered for what seemed like hours. Uglyman knew that the silence was a rejection of his proclamation of love. His heart sank to the bottom of his stomach, and his chest began to ache. He felt like he was trying to breathe underwater.


The drive home was tense and conversation forced. Princessgirl didn't know what to say, she didn't know how to act or speak about what had just happened. Her impish shyness resulted in little skills in conflict resolution, and orally conveying emotion was near impossible for her. She got out of Uglyman’s car and decided she would simply avoid him.

Uglyman and Princessgirl drifted apart after that. The difficulty of the dinner was hard to talk around, and life went forward as it always does. Princessgirl found what she thought was her White-Knight; he was handsome and able, interesting to talk with and listen to, but he didn’t make her feel like an equal often, at least not like Uglyman had. Uglyman pursued a life of chivalry, but he did so with a lack of passion and his actions were tainted with mediocrity, as he felt he would never find the other person to make him Whole.

Both Uglyman and Princessgirl realized all too late, as age had taken his action and her confidence, that two people cannot make one Whole. Wholeness cannot be sought outside of oneself, but can only be found within. No relationship with another will ever fill the hole made by hating oneself. Neither Uglyman nor Princessgirl learned to love themselves, and their lives were pained with sorrow until their final days.